Woolgathering

May 12, 2008

'Loathing Is Acceptable,' My Wife Said

I heard my wife on the phone saying, "Loathing is acceptable."

When she hung up, I got the story out of her. Turns out she was talking to a friend who's been married for 2 years. The friend was complaining about her husband, all this stuff she couldn't stand about him. "I hate him. Am I allowed to hate him?" That's when my wife said "Loathing is acceptable." You go through a lot of different moods with a spouse and you shouldn't try and push them down. If it gets past loathing to You want to kill him, or do a Lorena Bobbitt, that's when you should leave. So spake the wife. I'm going to keep my eyes open.

April 08, 2008

A Gathering in an Airport at 1 A.M., and a Test of Character

My flight out of Indianapolis last night was delayed nearly 3 hours so we didn't get into Philadelphia till 1 a.m., way too late to make my connection to upstate New York. Misery loves company and I had four partners, waiting around for a U.S. Airways rep to show up and figure out what we were doing for the night. They were: 1, a stocky older woman with a sensible gray tweed jacket and a serious hardback; 2, a high-tech guy from Ireland, 40, real smart, ironical, headed for Boston; 3, high-tech's partner, a younger American guy with a slightly goofy sweet manner; 4, a tall 40-ish woman with long silver hair, small blue eyes in a pretty round face, worn jeans and sneakers.

The high tech guys kept marveling on the incompetence. The idea that no one from USAir anticipated us, was waiting for us--that just baffled the guy from Ireland and the other guy kept offering possible explanations. I sort of chimed in a lot in a humorous way. I was drained and not sure what to do, grab the 5:10 a.m. train out of Philly, go to my parents' house in the Philly suburbs... Then the older woman somehow got attention before anyone else, maybe on account of age. I saw her walking around with a boarding pass on a flight to New Hampshire at 10 a.m. But then she had to wait for a hotel voucher, so we were still in the same boat.

Finally the rep arrived. She was about 35 and obviously educated, slender, cool, with art glasses and dark hair. I wondered what she was doing in this job. She gathered us in a circle and went through our situations. She was going to get us all vouchers when the tall silver-haired woman said she lived in Tacony, in Northeast Philadelphia, and wanted a cab ride home. We were all a little confused. The rep said, "I can't pay for a cab ride."

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March 19, 2008

How Long Will It Take to Renew My Passport?

I'm cheap so on March 5 when I mailed my old passport to Philadelphia to be renewed, I didn't pop for the $60 expediting fee. Just paid the $75 renewal fee--taking a chance that I wouldn't get the thing back in time to leave the country in April or May. I'd heard horror stories about a 3-month backlog.

Well it came back yesterday, March 18. Under two weeks. FYI.

December 21, 2007

Is PB&J Better on Toast or on Untoasted Bread?

My lunch today is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a grapefruit. Can't wait.

As I made my sandwich, I faced that quandary, toasted or untoasted bread. I generally like my sandwiches on toast. It keeps them from getting soggy, a firewall against the chicken salad or mayo. I like the crunch followed by the savory flavor. But not with peanut butter and jelly! I like the way the elements soak into one another and mold themselves against a book in my backpack, and when I'm eating it, I don't like to have to get past the crunch, I like the sweet soggy integration.

November 17, 2006

Advice Column: Two Weeks of Bliss, and Confession

This morning I overheard my wife giving relationship advice to a friend on the phone:

"This is the rule. In the beginning of a relationship, those first two or three golden weeks, you can confess anything. You get permission to give all this information about yourself, and the other person has to respect you for it, and accept it. Like [X] told you he was basically illiterate, he didn't read, and you went along with that. But if you find out after those two weeks, it's completely different. Like I have a friend who lied about her age. Well the guy found out from her drivers' license, six months after they'd started dating, and it was very bad.

"It goes for jobs too. In the golden period, you can go to your boss and say That's fucked up, that's fucked up. For two weeks, they're interested. After that, they'll cut your head off."

August 18, 2006

I Wasn't Nice to Some Guy on the Train

I got on a crowded commuter train yesterday and a biggish guy sat down next to me wearing shorts, with a big bag. I was reading the Forward, an article headlined, Bush Riles Muslims With 'Islamic Fascist' Remark, when the guy reached out, smacked the article, and said, "As if Muslims don't already have a ton of good reasons to hate Bush!" It pissed me off that he was becoming immediately familiar and making the assumption that we shared politics, and even if we did share politics, I didn't look at him but said coldly, "Good point," and went on reading. Well, after that he realized he'd breached etiquette and for the rest of the trip he was very uncomfortable. He got out a book and made a big point of reading, then he got out his little bottle of wine, then he stood up for a while and just looked out the window like he needed to stretch his legs. Finally when I got off the train, he said, "Watch out, don't trip over my bag—I do that." He was just a nice guy. Maybe he was from out of town. I smiled at him, but by then of course it was too late.

May 19, 2006

Showers Vs. Baths, My Investigation Continues

As devoted readers may recall, I promised to continue to look into the question of why women prefer baths and men prefer showers (yes—of course, by and large; there are exceptions). The latest info comes from a male, age 42: "A bath? I've tried it. You've got all the water on you, then what do you do? You're on the lam, and when you hear that siren sounding, you really got to move. But you can't."

May 04, 2006

My Dog Got Its Head Caught in a Garbage Bag

Knuckleheads leave their garbage at the trail head, and my dog came out of the bushes with his head stuck in the loop of a bag.

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He got out on his own.

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May 03, 2006

Un-Shaggy Dog Story

This happened today. Lisa cuts my dogs once or twice a year. I think she likes dogs more than humans. Here she is kissing one of my dogs before she gets to work.

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Before

When she's done, she puts bandanas on them.

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After

May 01, 2006

I'm Calling It The Former Radical

At my grocery store you see all these guys in their 50s—including, sadly, moi— buying pomegranate juice because it is supposed to prevent cancer by taking care of all the free radicals, or the oxidants. Something like that. I'm not sure how it does it, but that's the rap. You've seen the ads for pomegranate juice—well, it's about cancer.

I'm mixing mine with vodka and a little seltzer to cut the sweetness. You got a better name for it?

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The Former Radical, in the Garden